平凡的我，快乐人生“

平凡的我，快乐人生”是马大佛学会资料展座谈会的主题.
曾经，我曾想过，我的人生虽平凡但精彩。
我并没有漂亮的样貌，但我五官齐全。我的家庭不富有，但我们三餐温饱、能受教育。我的父亲不是有名的政治家、明星、或任何受人崇拜的人物，但他无时无刻的陪伴我成长，看着我长大。若我的父亲是名医生，或许我的童年并不是如此的璀璨而是孤独且欠缺父爱的。我的母亲虽然只是一位小学老师，但我很感恩。因为她是老师，所以她才能有足够的时间监督我及弟妹们的学业，让我们能健康快乐的成长。朋友们都有了男女朋友，我还是单身，我却感恩因为我还是自由的。虽然有时会希望我能脱离单身的生活，加入朋友们的阵容，但可遇不可求，一切顺其自然吧！就如子贤师兄所说的，单身也可以很快乐！不是吗？我虽然没有超人的智慧，但从小到大我都能保持着标榜的成绩，至少保留在精英班里。哈哈！就是比上不足，比下有余哪一类。虽然进入马大，开始时有些怨言，抱怨宿舍的设备、大学的不平待遇等等，但想一想，当时我是发愿要来马大成为马大的学生然后进入教育界的，愿是我发的，所以坦然地接受了。我没有很多的朋友，但我有着知己、我信任的朋友。一班可以和我一同成长的朋友，一班可以和我一同分担与分享的朋友，一班可以和我一同精进的法侣，一班可以让我有安全感的朋友。朋友不在乎多，但在乎其质量，不是吗？
平凡的我，到底如何快乐呢？知足常乐是我在中三是突发奇想的人生座右铭。当时的我，并不知足，常常抱怨。抱怨为何父亲去世得早，为何没有人爱我，为何家里并不富有，为何我的朋友们能这么得出名，为何我并不起眼，为何我总不能引起大家的注意，为何我的口才没有其他人好，一大堆的为何在我心中不停的盘旋，一直找不到答案。到后来，中二时，开始接触会佛教，才慢慢的发现，一切随缘，一切事情的发生都是有它的因缘所在。所以，知足常乐，是最佳的人生观。到后来，进入中六，更深一层的接触佛法时，原来并不是知足常乐就是最佳的人生观。反而应该知足的当儿，想想如何让人生更充实，更有意义。
虽然，到了现在，脑海中有着佛法的影子，可是我还是凡人，总会有贪噌痴的干扰。三毒不时地浮现于生活的每一个过程，虽然我可观内心，看到我的三毒正升起了，但时常都无法压抑他们。真是内疚！要怪只能说我不够精进。哈哈！从这一刻开始，应该更加的精进学习将这三毒给吹毁。让他们远离我！我知道五戒是什么，明白皈依三宝的用意，但我迟迟还未皈依，原因只有一个，就是我怕我不能守五戒。很可笑吧,我也这么觉得。
平凡的我，快乐的人生，不是不可能的，只是在于我们如何奉献自己造福他人。
恺慈，加油！从这一刻起，多奉献，少计较、多布施，少贪恋、多感恩，少抱怨、多爱语，少妄语、多行善，少破坏。

announcement!!

anyone is free from 1st june to 5th june...u guys are welcome to be the helper for dyc camp!! wats so special abt this?haha...>>>u guys can work together with this pretty lady-NG YIN SHIA!!! its a golden opportunity!!dun ever miss it...be fast!!siapa cepat , dia dapat!!!dapat apa??dapat opportunity to work wit her only lar...aiyo!!haha.....

lame lui^^esther

Spring Semester 2009 *With LANDOVER*

yet another semester in INTEC... how 2 describe it?? well, it consists of all kinds of emotion... worried, enjoy, busy, fun, full of laughter, hectic, slp lacking nights, up and downs, and etc etc... so many feelings 2 describe my spring semester in Intec...

from the 1st day entering da class to da las day of da semester, everythin changes so drastically... classmates change from strangers to close frens... presentations from boring to funny n interesting... my body from healthy to weak (due to few slp lacking nites)... lots of changes did occur throughout da sem... but in conclusion... it's a superb sem... n thx 2 all my frens n classmates who gave me such a wonderful time in INTEC... never tot it could be tat gud...

for the sequence of events happening throught da sem... there r lots of happenings in spring, but i gonna highlight a few which means a lot 2 me... hehe...

firstly, the leaving of our calculus lecturer to pursue her PhD in Australia... talkin bout her... hmm... she had a bad start in teachin tis subject but she did improve a lot n make me tink tat she is not bad after all... hehe... our class had a farewell party wit her on her las day of teachin in flaming's steamboat.. it was really fun n everyone had big tummies after da party...




tat marks da end of Ms Raihana as our calculus lecturer... gud luck miss..

then, it was da 1st time i enter a lab with air cond... haha... ya... i knw im a bit sam pat... but it's really da 1st time i enter a lab wit complete facilities n air cond... i muz emphasize... air cond... haha... 4get bout lab... hehe... then da 2nd outing of our class... tis time its a combine class outing... yaya... 2 classes 2gether going to national library n KLCC!!! Landover and Honolulu (or better known as Hornylulu) lol... so syok... thx 2 our advanced composition lecturer mr K... hehe... it was truely a fun trip n i really found lots of info regardin my research paper in national library n it's da 1st time goin out wit other class... really had fun...




n then, it's american indulgence week... a week full of activities n i join all those activities except "American Got Talents"... how sad was I.. i registered as contestant... but due to buziness n obligation... i quited... i was so sad... but i did not regret as i completed my job as Halloween Night's committee... now i understand tat sometime v nid 2 sacrifice sth 4 da sake of others... so im not regret... apart from Halloween n Americans Got Talent... there r other activities such as parade (in which our class dressed up as superheroes n v won da 3rd place... haha) n dodgeball competition (in which my team bcom champion unexpectedly) n oso Luau Party which wrap up da whole week... a bz yet enjoyable week...




n then it was speech nite, a competition where every class send a representative to present a persuasive speech on stage... although i m not da representative of my class.. i went up stage oso... as performer!! omg... it's da 1st time i sing in da public but it was a duet so i was not so nervous n da performance was quite ok... i wouldn't say it was great as me n my partner (Ricky) did some mistakes... luckily it was not obvious.. so overall... its a great exp 4 me... hehe... (too bad i dun hav video 2 show u o... cant let u o listen 2 my singing... haha) but 4 those who listened... u o r a lucky group of ppl... wakakakakaka.... kiddin kiddin... n yea... da winner of speech nite was from my class... our great CARISHMA!!! n congratz 2 her n a job well done....

next, it was "ko-pln(kokurikulum program luar negara) night".. i was a night full of performances by diff groups n awards r given... our group was one of da best group in ko-pln.. totally unexpected again... haha... n i had da chance 2 perform again... tis time dancing... aiz... i admit tat i really din dance well... i was so mechanical... soli guys... i really cant dance... n i tink i ruined da performance... (n 2 bad again... i hav no videos to show u guys... coz its not a gud performance after all)....

ok... i knw tis post is kinda long... but it's comin 2 an end ad... juz bear wit it ok?? i long time never update ad liao... so gotta write longer... k... juz a bit more.. da las event of my class, was a day "trip" to Sunway Piramid... thx 2 our advance composition lecturer Mr K again... haha... it was da las outing by landoverians... it was kinda fun oso... bcoz of mr K... v really had a great time.. n took lots of picture...




besides all those outings... tis sem is full of presentations.. speeches... American Cultural Study... Critical thinking.. n all da presentations r full of creativity n i can say tat v all grew up a lot throughout da sem... every presentation juz get better n better... n i learn a lot from all of my classmates n especially my peer review partner... he taught me alot... thx Khalis... hehe...

in short, tis sem was full of ups n downs n i oni 2 maintain my result above average... even though i cant b da best... im contented as i already tried my best..

Spring 2009, a totally different experience with las sem... glad 2 make new frens, glad 2 grow up, glad 2 hav da exp 2 perform on stage, glad 2 b a landoverian, glad 2 knw u guys...

spring ends... summer's coming... but da memories will never end...

-lame zai, scholes yb-

random expression

i think a lot recently...how would we be if we are still like las time..how good if u r still here..how syok it is if i m still in ti with all my frens where life is so enjoying..how nice it is if i can always stay at home enjoying the home-cooked meals..overall how wonderful it is if time can turn back..i admit that i m that kind of person who loves to love in the past..i love to be nostalgic..thats my personality..n i m comfortable with that..cos it actually act as an inspiration for u to move on in ur life..perhaps to some ppl, its a self-deception..bt i m jus used to that..my life now is ok..jus that i encounter many frens of diff personalities...to conclude, we all are self-centered..perhaps its more obvious among scholars like us..n i m nt excluded...yea thats life in this rat-race society..evthing is so competitive..if u r being left out, then its ur prob..nobody will care for u except for urself..i m personally really frustrated wit some of the friends in their way of expressing themselves..they din take into account of ppl's feeling..i knw u r great...so?do u ever notice that there is some prob n ur attitude...haiz..i m nt good in maintainig friendship wit others..yea its true!!i m over protecting myself..perhaps cause of the past experience..i wont so easily open up the door of my heart to others..once i feel that u r my circle of frens, then i will feel comfortable wit u..otherwise, i wil jus try to avoid u ..cos i dunno how to mix around..really...bt sadly, many of those frens that i consider as my cicle of friends jus dun appreciate the friendship, they tend to neglect u o say smth accidentally to hurt u..thats y our friendship is stunted...y dont we jus make life easy, ev1 uses their sincerity to be each other's friends....its hard..even for myself
currently got to prepare for AUS U application ady...feel quite helpless act..cos i only hv yee che there..dun hv much info on aus U ...i got to list down my top5 choices...we are only allowed to apply for 5 U.
so hw r u guys ?all lame members...

esther^^

my 19th birthday^^

finally my sweet 18th ended after enduring happiness,sadness ,challenging along this long journey of 2008..here comes to my 19th!!yea 19th march 2009,19th birthday..quite a nice no , is n’t it?haha..once again, i m grateful that i have passed1 more year..as i always say, ‘life jus once, we don know how many celebration that we can hv,cos to grow up as an adult, its really not an easy task!’ ..i think thats the reason i appreciate a lot ev single birthday celebration that i hv..wats so special abt this year is tat most prob its my las bday celebration in msia b4 flying to aus.kinda sad..plus its the first tim i celebrated it wit all my new friends in kl..

bcos of my bday, i met with teck xin who i never c for ages..haha.thanks so muc for the secret receipe”s cake..really hv a very wonderful session of “chat n gossip” wit u though v hv been lost contact wit each other for so long..i lik ur words’ we dun hv any cold moment while chatting’..haha..i think thats the true friendship..u r stil so cute n humourous..i wil remember the promise..hopefully we can achieve it..

next, of course my housemates’s turn to celebrate for me. i can sense the weird reactions form u guys since sharp at 12..cos u all r lik purposely pretending nt to wish me..haha..its realy a surprise for me to c other frens came to the unit at night to hv the celebration wit me.cos i jus expect to hv the celebration wit al the housemates..so its really surprising.thanks so muc for those present n the cake..n of course the presents and cards..i appreaciate it so muc..as i said, it might b the first n las ever bday celeb that i can hv wit u guys..cs we might be separating to our own path of life nex year..so really thanks so muc!i hv fun that night.

for the others friends especially in ti, thanks for stil remember my big day..hah.this is the time to test whether i m still in ur heart o nt..haha..d first 1 of course goes to u , yche~who purposely called from aus sharp at 12(aus time)jus to wish me. i m looking forward to ur present from aus..stil haven got it..its really touching to knw u did post me smth from so far, u r d most sincere true fren that i hv in my life.for my 3min gang, thanks too especially yt,joseph,mjing,tpang ybin etc..i miss al those memorable bday celebration wit u guys esp las yr..bt dunno y , it seems that this yr most of my frens lik to give las minute(11.59) wish ..haha..also, i m really happy to get a bday msg from mrs tan..i dun expect at all..haha..thanks..n of course there is also some disappointment towards some ppl esp those u expect the most,,it turns up to be d most disappointing1..haha

n lastly, the presents that i lik the most is from my cousin n bro!!thanks for the cows..i dun expect it especially from my bro..really very cute..i wil bring one of them to australia nex time…especially when i feel homesick!!thanks….i love u all..

20mac 2009..its has been 2 years since u left us..time flies!yet the pain is stil there inside my heart..unhealed.天使is the song that i listen always as a remisnisce to u ..it gives me strength n inspiration to move to overcome all the obstacles as if u r jus bside me , giving me mentally support..how gd if i can tell u face to face that i managed to secure a scholarship n currently doin my first choice course..i wil be studying abroad..how gd if i could…really…i make it~~i knw u wil be proud of me.the oncoming challenges is awaiting me.i wil continue to work hard to achieve my final destination.. i wil be fine ..永远怀念您，刘老师..

esther^^

haiz

once again i screwed the acc test...yday was the test..as usual i wil pay a lot of effort in acc due to the difference existed between me n my frens..i had no acc background, so i mus pay double effort ..but why?again n again i cant balance it ..this time worst due to nervousness i even left out one ques...i cant afford to lose any marks..this test contributes to 10% of my internal..plus i m a scholar..i really cant bear the bad consequences that i might face...bcos of my acc, it made me cried in sch las time wit my partner..i get annoyed by someone who 'purposely' o 'accidentally' hurt me by saying that" lik that u also dunno"..it seems so cruel to me..bcos of the word, i felt so depressed n cried alone at night...the lecturer even asked me why did i so slow during the test yday...is nt that i cant do my acc ..i can perform in theory ques..i even get the highest mark las tim..but whenver come to calculation part, i get sucked..honestly i will very very inferior among all my classmates..cos they can really do very fast in calculation part..i m different..i take time to analyse where to put the transaction , which journal , etc...plus the time given in test is super short...i get even more nervous...i really get frustrated...acc haunts me now..i hv chosen the path that can never go bac...i doubt myself ....i m helpless....

Esther^^

Update from me..

It has been a long time I never update bout me on this lame blog. However, if you did read my blog frequently, you will know bout what happen to me recently. Many memorable things happened in this february. I would like to call it a busy but happy month for me. I have been busy with my projects since i came back from the CNY break. I have my dance practise. Oh ya, i would like to invite you all to my dance performance on 28 February 2009, 7.30pm at The 7th residential College of universiti Malaya. You are welcome. Free entrance. Haha..this is the first time I practise the chinese dance. Kinda of weird though, I laugh too when i see myself in the costum. so, if you wish to laugh at me, can always come to have a look.Haha..
Do update bout u all to me too. Waiting for your news.
love
Kaichur